1 Year Anniversary

So today marks my one year anniversary for receiving my diagnosis of gastric cancer.  I can't believe what a year it has been.   Looking back on it I can't believe all that has taken place.  Laparoscopy, Power Port placement, 9 weeks of Chemotherapy, Gastrectomy, 5 more weeks of Chemo, 5 weeks of radiation,  placement of J-Tube for tube feedings, weeks of hospital stays, 3 Emergency Room Visits, Rehabilitation, and way too many days of nausea and vomiting then I care to count.  Phew its been a long one. 

There have been many ups and downs.  I can remember how happy I was after the laparoscopy when we found out the cancer had not spread to any other areas in my abdomen.  The disappointing news that my margins were not clear after the gastrectomy.  I think these ups and downs are just going to be a part of my life moving forward.   It is going to be necessary to get CT Scans moving forward to determine if the cancer has returned and waiting for and receiving those results each time will be difficult.  I just have to learn to take one day at a time and not let this control my life.  Easier said then done I'm sure.

I am still on my road to recovery.  I've gained about 20lbs since leaving rehab in October.  My oncologist wants me to gain another 20lbs before they will let me remove the feeding tube.  Still on "the tube" 18 hours a day, and I'm still trying to eat more.  I used to live to eat.  Now I really need to learn to eat to live and I'm finding it a struggle.

I have learned so much about myself and others over the past year.  Older friends that I had not heard from in years have come forward and shown me such love and support as well as my newer friends where our relationships have quickly grown.  Then there are my friends and family that have been with me all along.  Without their continued support this year would have been so difficult. I can truly say I know who my friends are.  It still amazes me how generous people are donating their time and energy, providing meals, driving me to my appointments, visiting me in the hospital, and the financial support people have given my family and I;  it has just been overwhelming and we are very grateful for all of it.   I think I'm strong and other times know I need to be stronger; I'd be lying if I said there were not times I just wanted to give up.  But I think of my family and all the people I have pulling for me and I know I must move forward.  Through all of this my marriage has strengthened,  and my relationship with my son has become even more special to me if that is even possible.  I try not to let any opportunity go by where I can tell people exactly how I feel and hopefully I'm doing a better job of letting those I love know just how much I love them.  

Thank you all for your support and for hanging in there with me and this blog.  I've appreciated all the encouragement and kind words from all of you, believe me it has helped.  Until next time remember whatever it is you're going through that today is not forever.  We can do this.

Love - Barbara